Updated: Nov 1

God made each one of us. We all came from him. You can say him/her/it God, Buddha, the Divine, Allah, the Universe - whatever you choose or nothing at all, but for the sake of simplicity, I usually call him God. We are all a little piece of him. Which means, we are all a piece of each other. (Keep reading - this is all relevant, but it gets etter and believe it or not this isn't a religious post - especially since I'm not religious.) Imagine what the world would look like if we deferred to unconditional love and compassion when dealing with each other the way God does for us.

Practice having just a little bit of love for people as if they are an actual part of you, and if you don't love yourself enough to love the people around you like that, then Reiki and meditation can help you find the love inside that's been there all along. I'm sure there are many other ways, but this is what worked for me. It sounds SO corny, and I almost can't believe these words are coming out of my fingertips, but I finally feel free enough to be able to speak openly.

You might assume that I'm a church-going, God-fearing woman from all this, but I'm not. I don't go to church, and I don't fear God. I'm not religious, but I am spiritual. I believe that doing your best and being a good human, helping instead of hurting, loving instead of hating, is what it's all about.

Reiki is God energy. God's energy flows through every living thing. In essence, it is love. And it is healing. Putting Reiki and meditation into practice on a regular basis has helped me to find the love for myself that I didn't even realize I was not in touch with. I kept looking for it in every person around me my whole life, and in everything I put into my body, and was disappointed over and over and over again. It wasn't until I figured out that the love I was looking for was inside of myself all along. When you find that, you find joy. It totally sounds cliché, but I feel the most happiness and peace than I ever have in my life. The only thing that could make it better is if my husband was still here with me physically, but at least I know he is still with me and our children in spirit because our souls don't die, and neither does love. Those are the truths that I hold very close to my heart, and that give others so much hope, too.

We are all a work in progress - myself included. I have all these amazing ideals about how I'm going to help those who want to be helped and are willing to do the work to find balance in mind, body and spirit, and to find that piece of themselves that's been buried under layers upon layers of life. The issue I'm working on for myself is getting over fear. There's still this injured part of myself that I'm in the process of healing that wants me to believe that I won't be good enough, or that no one will want to learn from me, or that I'm not worthy of this work. Repeatedly, I'm reassuring myself that although I'm not perfect and may never reach Deepak Chopra level, I AM worthy, I AM qualified, and that at least most of the people I will be helping won't hurt me like I think they might. That I don't need to have a guard up that tells me I shouldn't speak and I shouldn't trust. That my story is irrelevant because everyone has had trauma and what makes me so special. I remind myself that it is my story (and I have many kinds) that brought me here and to this work, and that it is relevant to the people I'm helping. That I might not be able to help everyone that comes to me, but that I will do my very best, and understand that the majority of the work is what they do for themselves because I'm just giving them the tools. That after they have had a session with me or took a class, they feel like they have been heard, understood, and loved, and leave with a better understanding of how to heal themselves.

Covid is giving me the isolation I needed to continue healing myself from a lifetime of pain and resentment, and realizing that I created that for myself all along because of unreasonable expectations I had for the people around me. I expected love and kindness from people that aren't even willing to do that for themselves, and the more I see how common this is, the more it gives me compassion for those who hurt me and gives me the drive to help even more. It has showed me where the help is needed the most.

As much as it is my mission to help people find balance in mind, body and spirit, I kept denying that 'spiritual' part thinking it might offend people. I'm not going to be afraid of that anymore, either, because really - if someone is going to get offended, they will be offended whether you try or not, so I might as well just be open! "Spirit" is a big part of the package. When you take care of your body so that you're healthy physically, it makes your mind more clear and healthy. That, in turn, helps your spirit. Your spirit is the divine part of you that allows you to feel joy and love. It's extremely relevant, and I'm not going to downplay it anymore. They all work together for the WHOLE person.

So when you hear me advocate for love of self and showing each other unconditional compassion, that did NOT come easily. I don't think life is all 'rainbows and unicorns.' To the contrary - it's because life has been so challenging that I've learned more than ever the importance of love and compassion. It has taken a lot of inner work and a great deal of strength, and still does. Every day. I'm learning that one of the things that helps heal that injured part of me that still thinks I should shrink back down and stay small is to push through it, speak my truth and trust myself. What also helped is the seed was divinely planted early on in my life about unconditional love- specifically in my late teens. I'll share the details of that someday, but I've shared enough vulnerability for now.

A true healer must be heal themselves before they can do this for others. It's good that I have to wait a little longer to do this work for people in person, because I'm almost there. I'm almost ready to not be afraid anymore.


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