Updated: Nov 1
Adversity is meant to stimulate a certain kind of growth in a person, and life gives us lots of opportunities for that. Of course, I wasn't aware of this when my husband died in 2008, and I did everything I possibly could to put off that growth for a long time after. It wasn't just about growing from his death, but also from a lifetime of conditioning that I didn't even realize I had to unlearn since childhood.
I held on for dear life to friendships that I should have let go of long before they let go of me, and grasped at relationships only seeing what I wanted to see in them. I ignored my own basic needs as I tried in vain to fulfill everyone else's, hoping that it would get the people I loved to see my worth. I numbed and distracted myself until it got to the point that it stopped "helping" and started hurting, and I actually began to prefer being alone because I was so hurt by everyone around me.
What I didn't realize was that I had unrealistic expectations of those people to give me the love I needed to give to myself. I had also ignored all the opportunities throughout my life to learn boundaries until that lesson nearly drove me into my own grave.
I've always heard how important it was to love yourself, but it was not until then that I finally realized what self-love really meant. I have been able to let go of years of resentment that was eating me alive, learned healthy boundaries, drastically improved my physical health as a bonus, and discovered that there is some kind of magic inside of me that kept me going all that time and is what helped me to get to the other side of all that turmoil. It's a piece of magic that everybody has inside of them, but most don't even know it exists.
Self love is something that doesn't always come naturally. I thought it was the same as self-care, like treating yourself to a pedicure. It goes much deeper than that. This is why I created Bridge To Balance, LLC. I want to help you find that piece of magic that is inside of you, too. It doesn't mean life will become easy - it's not meant to be, but it will certainly help you to find joy in every day, and to get through the difficult times with more strength and grace.